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Writer's pictureShirley Riga

Living Without a Net



Yesterday was a day in my history

I lived without a net

I stayed in the present

I didn’t look forward or back


It was a free day

Unlike most in my life

I chose to trust

spontaneity.


My goal is to listen

when my fears inside

are yelling because

they just want to be heard.


My goal is to remind

me I am worth the effort

to stand up straight

and be present


I lived without a net.

I survived.

I’m present.

I can do it again.



Author Unknown


I accept myself completely. I accept my strengths and my weaknesses, my gifts and my shortcomings, my good points and my faults. I accept myself completely as a human being. I accept that I am here to learn and grow, and I accept that I am learning and growing. I accept the personality I've developed, and I accept my power to heal and change. I accept myself without condition or reservation. I accept that the core of my being is goodness and that my essence is love, and I accept that I sometimes forget that. I accept myself completely, and in this acceptance I find an ever-deepening inner strength. From this place of strength, I accept my life fully and I open to the lessons it offers me today. I accept that within my mind are both fear and love, and I accept my power to choose which I will experience as real. I recognize that I experience only the results of my own choices. I accept the times that I choose fear as part of my learning and healing process, and I accept that I have the potential and power in any moment to choose love instead. I accept mistakes as a part of growth, so I am always willing to forgive myself and give myself another chance. I accept that my life is the expression of my thought, and I commit myself to aligning my thoughts more and more each day with the Thought of Love. I accept that I am an expression of this Love. Love's hands and voice and heart on earth. I accept my own life as a blessing and a gift. My heart is open to receive, and I am deeply grateful. May I always share the gifts that I receive fully, freely, and with joy.


And So It Is.


Participants’ Reflections:

  • Thank you. That was so beautiful. The poem about acceptance. As I was listening to it, I could feel that I am able to be in my primary relationship because of a foundation of total self-acceptance. I could feel that so strongly. What I am able to experience in a relationship is all stemming from this core acceptance of myself. Without that, I wouldn’t have the relationship I do. It was a wonderful feeling.

  • Thank you. I liked the sentence you said about living without a net and living spontaneously. I’m going to try to do that someday. And the poem about accepting the power to heal and change. I can relate to that.

  • I wasn’t in joy every moment yesterday. Sometimes, I was in fear. At one point, I had the chance to do something and I said no, it was too spontaneous and wasn’t planned. But then I did it and it was fine. It was an interesting day.

  • I feel stopped in my acceptance. It’s such a process figuring a way out in a consistent way. It’s good to hear someone further down the path of acceptance. That is hopeful. I feel the stuckness, the glug. Not wanting to acknowledge that. This allowed me to think about recent things I feel stuck about which have to do with me being stuck with myself and not being able to accept those parts of me.

  • It’s good awareness. You just moved and went through a huge change. How could you not be stuck? You are still living with what you had, grieving with where you are, and looking ahead to where you don’t know. It’s natural. It’s why I talked about this day I experienced. It doesn’t happen all the time. It’s important to be gentle with ourselves in our stuckness. It will change, maybe not on your timeline.

  • I remind myself every 24 hours, when I get up, there’s a different energy. And things change. What just touched me is the move is true and a different way and it requires me making adjustments. The main thing is the adjustment to my spouse and the changes he is going through and his availability to me is dramatically different. That is where my grief is.

  • Thank you for showing up and being so honest.

  • Thank you for the ‘glug’. That’s an amazing word. Through Covid 24/7 and in my life in general, going through any kind of major relationship changes is really hard. And my ability to project stuff outwards instead of inwards is amazing. We all have our glug and it needs to be worked through.

  • I realize lately that accepting something doesn’t necessarily mean I have to like it. It’s an interesting concept to me. My son struggles with depression. I am so connected with his energy and a lot of times, when he is on that rollercoaster, I’m on it with him. This morning, I reminded myself I don’t have to be on the rollercoaster. I can’t change him; I can only change my response to him. I’m trying to watch and observe instead of be in it. Accepting not just what’s going on for him, but accepting my own feelings about it which is difficult because a lot of the reasons he’s depressed is my fault. That adds another whole layer of guilt. Accepting my own guilt is a glug place. It’s a difficult day today.

  • I encourage you to breathe through it. We all do the best we can. I remember things I did with my daughter. I did the best I could. Things happen. History plays itself out from things we experienced as children.

  • I read Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is, which helped me a lot. She says, “It’s the way of it.” That helps me when I am feeling terribly responsible or not accepting. When I tell myself it’s the way of it, I’m able to let go a bit. That is his process, this is my process. There’s nothing wrong with it.

  • Thank you. I thought a lot about acceptance. As a six-year-old, I accepted Christ into my life. It was pretty confusing, what does that mean? Oh, I’m supposed to act like him and to think about him all the time and not me. It’s very complicated for a child to take on and understand. When you are trying to be like someone else, you don’t know who you are. It took me many years to find out who I was and who I am. I found that through the love and understanding and knowledge of nature, from other people loving me and encouraging me and boosting me. My women’s choir sings a song “The Way Knows the Way.” It took me a while to figure out what it means. One doesn’t need to try to explain that. That is acceptance of ourselves and of others. The way knows the way.

  • That quote reminds me of another quote “What is in the way is the way.” (here used as a title of a book). That’s a good thing too.

  • It’s wonderful to be part of this group and see and hear the thoughts bubble up so freely. Thank you so much. I’m so glad we memorialize what we say here. It’s easy to go about my day and forget. But I can always reread it here again and again.

  • Thank you. Thank you for your willingness, your generosity of spirit, and the sharing of your hearts. It means so much to me every day. It is authenticity and it helps me survive. I hope you all have a gentle day. Remember, you are your best advocate.

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