I awoke this morning at 4am. Instead of grumbling that I need more sleep, I welcomed the time to drift and listen. The welcoming whispers tell me the inside temperature of my being. Whose voice do I hear first?
I can tell when my ego is speaking with its worries and declarations. I can tell when my wisdom is speaking with its insights and guidance.
This morning I saw bubbles floating around me. Some of them pop. Others seem stronger and stay longer. All hold little messages of support.
We are approaching a significant transition. For close to 500 days we have been building a community held together in a Zoom structure demonstrating different ways to practice self-care, discernment, expectancy, boundaries, respect, all under the guise of silent meditation.
We approached this incubator with vulnerability and fear looking for deeper meaning, connection and community. So I asked what are the bubbles? I looked closer at them and noticed one phrase – Fake it ‘til you make it.
Those familiar words float by. It’s a phrase I’ve used when taking steps beyond my comfort zone knowing what I wanted and unsure I could achieve. Those words help me go past doubt into trust though I don’t have the steps and knowledge how I’m going to get where I want to go.
Discerning doubt is a good thing. Doubt helps us study the facts, pros and cons, and helps us see clearer through the curtain of fear. What’s most important though is where your feet are. When standing in fear, breathing in fear, believing in fear it’s hard to listen. It’s hard to fake it ‘til you make it.
What helps in any situation is looking for bubbles of inspiration. Inspiration is a gateway to a higher vibration, changes our outlook, changes our mind. A higher vibration opens our doorway to new thought, welcome wisdom and clarity. Faking it ‘til you make it allows that doorway to float by giving you the option to take it or ignore it. Always your choice.
Using inspiration gives me a foundation of trust, wisdom and open possibilities. When I see a beautiful bloom on my geranium plant, I am in wonder at the colors, the incredible structure and variations as they rise from the pot. Any bloom for that matter offers unique beauty. I’m very much into flowers this year. I’ve enjoyed buying them with the potential of having these blossoms in my space, and watching the cycles as they come and go. I wonder at the power within a plant to know what it needs to do to produce these blossoms. The wonder of it takes me away from my fear. There’s a greater presence working everywhere, right down to the magic in a plant.
So on your way out the door this morning into your day, remember bubbles of inspiration. They are floating around everywhere and only you can pause to see them. Notice where your feet are planted. Use opportunities to restart, regroup, reset as you need to.
And no matter what, remember the power of silence that brought us all together. Remember the love that’s grown between us, all in the confines of space and technology, and remember that love resides in you. otherwise, how would you know what it is? The proof in knowing is that you recognize it in others. Fake it ‘til you make it in believing love emanates from within. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.
Cherish Your Doubts
Cherish your doubts, for doubt is the attendant of truth.
Doubt is the key to the door of knowledge; it is the servant of discovery.
A belief which may not be questioned binds us to error, for there is incompleteness and imperfection in every belief.
Doubt is the touchstone of truth; it is an acid which eats away the false.
Let no one fear the truth, that doubt may consume it; for doubt is a testing of belief.
The truth stands boldly and unafraid; it is not shaken by the testing:
For truth, if it be truth, arises from each testing stronger, more secure.
Those that would silence doubt are filled with fear; their houses are built on shifting sands.
But those who fear not doubt, and know its use, are founded on rock.
They shall walk in the light of growing knowledge; the work of their hands shall endure.
Therefore let us not fear doubt, but let us rejoice in its help:
It is to be the wise as a staff to the blind; doubt is the attendant of truth.
Participants’ Reflections:
Thank you. That’s a lot to think about. I found myself once again, breaking the word down. DOUBT - Do You Believe That, an acronym. If we don’t have doubts, there is no encouragement to find out and learn. I am so happy that I went through so many major periods of doubt in my life, because on the other side of that, I realize there is so much more to learn and believe. Doubt is the catalyst for our learning. I wouldn’t want to live without it. We don’t need to think of it as negative. It’s a companion that drives us if we let it and don’t let it get the best of us.
Thank you for focusing on doubt. It is a thing I’ve run into. When I find myself hesitating about something, then I know I don’t know. When I observe myself hesitating, I tell myself wait, don’t do it yet. Yesterday, I was not doubting but I was utterly baffled. I could not find my wallet. I could have freaked out over. I managed to float in the not knowing. I didn’t beat myself up. I didn’t start replacing everything. I talked to my wallet asking it where it is. It was six hours before I found it deep in a drawer. It felt like a miracle. To live with not knowing is a gift.
Great topic. I was thinking about serendipity, coincidences happening and wanting to trust. Doubt should give a counterbalance, a reality check. I got through most of my divorce negotiations. Two years ago, I would not have thought I could handle taking care of this big house, but I’ve managed to handle whatever came up. I’ve walked through my doubt.
I went on a bubble journey. Bubbles are dear to me. They are so beautiful and something magical about them. It feels like they are between the worlds and are so temporary. They are here for a brief moment and then gone. Having just gone through a major loss, bubbles are like that. Love and appreciate them while they are here. I can’t doubt the love I feel. I can doubt my decisions. I don’t doubt who I am.
My takeaway this morning is that I will now look at doubt as a signpost to remember love. To point me inward. I was thinking about doubts and wonder about the ending of our group. I was sharing our process with a friend of mine who knows about this group and the power of love that flows throughout this group. My friend has been following a spiritual teacher, Matias De Stefano (video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ-svN4YHKc) and he announced three weeks ago that his group that started about the same time as this group would be ending the same day as ours. Spirit has given him that message. He was guided, as we are entering this transformative time, not to doubt but to move forward. He will be ending as we are ending. If there are any doubts of being on the right track for us, or doubts of our own feelings of loss because we won’t have this kind of form every single morning, it is to remember there is a love and force that is guiding all of us that will always be there. We just can’t see it all.
Thank you. I went in a different direction. I focused more and reflected on the sense of inspiration. I recognized it all folded in on a choice, a sense of choice I can intentionally make when I am awake. It was nice. It was a freeing place to appreciate the wonder.
Shirley says: Inspiration is a doorway. It changes our mood, changes our vibration, focus, our mind. We all define what inspiration is for us.
What I thought was so exciting for me is it is a choice. I don’t have to wait around to be inspired.
I was focusing on the bubbles, but not quite in the same way. I recently found out that the true ending of a fairytale is a dissolving of the character into bubbles in the ocean. There’s something about impermanence and holding onto something we’re not supposed to hold on to.
I didn’t get past thinking about the group ending. Part of how I process things is I don’t get excited until I’m right in the moment of it happening. I can see the preparation we’re doing, the discussions and love we share, and the anticipation of what will be. I know I won’t be available on the last day, but I know when the morning comes and I have no choice about going on or not, that’s when the grief will hit. I can feel it welling up now as I visualize what that will be. That’s okay because we need to mourn that particular loss. We can’t push it aside and move on. This loss will be a loss and it needs to be honored by mourning it. Sadness is okay.
Shirley says It’s important to speak about this loss. It’s important to respect the change. It doesn’t mean there’s not another doorway opening, but we can’t see it yet.
I realize for me the analogy is of the mother bird is reluctantly but firmly kicking us out of the nest on Saturday and we have to fly. We don’t have another choice. That’s a humbling and exciting prospect. Those baby birds have a lot of doubt and we will survive.
I appreciate all your words. We are walking up to this doorway. We are preparing, talking about, processing. It’s important to recognize the change and transition. It’s going to bring up the emotions. It’s also going to bring up wonder and many things we can’t imagine yet. It’s affirming about the other healer following the same timeline. There’s a greater purpose going on. We are all listening and we all have our varying doubts. Forward we go. Have a gentle day. Appreciate the idea of doubt in a different way, and look for inspiration, and use the inspiration to change where your feet are.
Photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@marcsm
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